Santa = Tumhe kyun arrest kiya hai? 

Banta = Maine 50 rupay ke chillar diye the isliye. 

Santa = Usme galti kya hai? 

Banta = Maine chillar mein do 25 rupay ke note diye the :-)

Arrest

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Ramu = Sir, mere ghar mein TV chhorke baaki sab chori ho gaya hai?

Police = Chor ne sirf TV kyun chhoda hoga..?

Ramu = Mujhe kya pataa sir, main to us waqt TV mein serial dekh raha tha….!!

TV

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Wife = Suniye, hum is poore hafte cinema dekhenge, agle hafte shopping karenge….

Husband = Uske baad poore hafte mandir jaayenge..

Wife = Kyun..? 

Husband = Bheek maangne ke liye….

Shopping

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Husband = Agar operation mein mujhe kuch ho gaya to tum us doctor se hi shaadi karna….

Wife = Aise kyun bol rahe ho? 

Husband = Usse badla lene ka or koi dusra raasta bhi to nahin hai….

Doctor

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Principal = Class mein der se kyun aaye? 

Student = Sir, gaadi puncture ho gayi thi.. 

Principal = To tumhe bus mein aana chahiye tha.. 

Student = Socha to tha sir, lekin aapki beti sunti hi nahi hai…

Drive

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Teacher = Tumhari Maa ka kya naam hai? 

LKG student = Mummy…. :)

Lovely

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Santa = Kahan gaya tha yaar? 

Banta = Girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne gaya tha..

Santa = Kitna kharcha hua..?

Banta = 500 Rs 

Santa = Itna ho gaya? 

Banta = Kya karu, uske paas itne hi the yaar…..

Cinema

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Teacher = Akbar kon tha? 

Student = Pata nahin sir… 

Teacher = Padhai ki taraf dhyaan do, to pata chalega.. 

Student = Aap batayiye, Suresh kon hai? 

Teacher = Pata nahin….

Student = Apni beti ki taraf dhyaan dijiye, to pata chalega….

Student

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Nurse = Udaas kyun baite ho sir? 

Doctor = Dopahar ko jiska operation kiya tha, wo mar gaya. 

Nurse = Arey! wo to postmortem tha. 

Doctor = To maine subha kiska postmortem kiya tha….

Doctor

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Teacher = Bachcho, agar mann se prarthana karoge to bhagwan aapki wish

jaroor puri karenge. 

Student = Ye sab jhoot hai sir. 

Teacher = Kyun? 

Student = Agar ye sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school mein ja chuke hote…

Prayer

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Santa = Mujhe 4 baje jaga dena..

Naukrani = Lekin mujhe to time dekhna nahi aata….

Santa = Tum jagaa dena, time main khud dekh lunga..

Wake up

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Chandni raat thi, samundar ka kinara tha..

Apni girlfriend ka haath apne haath mein le kar bihari premi ne kaha…

"Ae pushpa…. bidi piegi.."?

Smoking

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Ek amir ladki ko school mein garib pariwaar pe essay likhne ko kaha gaya..

Ladki ne essay likha: –

Ek garib pariwaar tha, pitaa garib, maa garib, bachchhe garib, 

Pariwaar mein chaar noukar the wo bhi garib, car bhi tooti hui safari thi,

Unka garib driver bachcho ko usi tooti car mein school chhodne jata tha..

Bachcho ke paas purane iPhone mobiles the, Bachche hafte mein sirf 3 baar hi,

hotel mein khana khate the.. Ghar mein sirf 5  A.C the…..

Sara pariwaar badi mushkil se aish kar raha tha……

Family

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Pati = Mere marne ke baad kya tum doosri shaadi karogi? 

Patni = Nahin, main apni behen ke saath rahungi… or aap? 

Pati = Main bhi tumhari behen ke saath rahunga….

Marriage

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Dipu = Pappu, tum do roti ek saath kyun khate ho..?

Pappu = Dr. ne mujhe double roti khane ko kaha hai na isiliye….

eating

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Police = Car gas par hai..?

Sardar = No..

Police = Petrol par…?

Sardar = No….

Police = Diesel par….?

Sardar = No…

Police = Phir kis par hai….?

Sardar = Installment par hai ji…..

Car

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Santa ne airport call kiya or pucha = Ludhiana se America ki yatra kitni lambi hai…?

Receptionist boli = 1 second sir.

Santa ne call disconnect ki or kaha = Stupid girl…. Din mein bhi pee rakhi hai….

Plane

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Ek aadmi apne kaan ko chabi se saaf kar raha tha..

Sardar ne dekha or kaha = O bhai sahab, agar gaddi start nahin ho rahi,

to piche se dhakka lagaun kya…?? ;-)

Key

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Sardar wedded with a short length girl.

Someone asked the reason and he replied = My father had advised me, 

that small problems are good enough for life…….

Hit

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Ek aadmi daaru ke nashe me taxi me betha or bola chalo airport chalo….

Taxiwala = Tum airport par hi ho….

Aadmi = Ye lo 50rs dubara inti tez mat chalana…..

Race