Santa ne kaafi saraab pee li or banta ke saath ghar pahuncha..

Taala kholte waqt uske haath kaanpne lage..

Banta = Oye! tune jyada pee rakhi hai, laa main taala khol dun…

Santa = Yaar main ek dum thik hun, tu bas makaan pakad ke rakh,

Hil bahut raha hai…..

Drunk

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Ik aadmi kabar ke upar baitha tha. Ek girl udhar se ja rahi thi.

Girl = Tum ko dar nahi lagta?

Aadmi = Darne ki kya baat hai, andar garmi bohot thi thori der ke liye 

kabra se bahar aaya hun…..

Grave

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Duniya mein sab se himmat wala kaun? 

.."Dhobi"

Kabhi bhi kisi ke ghar jaa kar bol sakta hai sahib bibi ji ko bolo kapde 

nikal kar rakhe mein abhi aa ke leta hun.

Clothe

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MODERN GIRLS: –

1980 = Love me But dont touch me

1990 = Touch me But dont kiss me

2000 = Kiss me But or kuch mat karna

2005 = Sab kuch kar Lo par kisi ko Batana nahi

2011 = Sub kuch karo warna sub ko Bata dun gi k tum ko kuch nahi aata.

Action

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Man = Koi lambi umar ka tarikaa bataiye

Doctor = Shaadi karlo..

Man = Kiya isse umar lambi ho jayegi..

Doctor = Nahin, Ye jeene ka shouk khatam ho jayega!!

Marriage

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Teacher class mein bachcho ko jansankhya ke baare mein padha rahe the..

Teacher = Bachcho tumhe pata hai desh ki jansankhya bahut tezi se badh 

rahi hai. Yahan har dus second mein ek aurat bachche ko janam deti hai..

Sardar = Master ji, humein jaldi hi us aurat ko khoj kar usey rokna chahiye…..

Teacher Student

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Santa ne ek sundar ladki dekhi..

Wo uske paas gaya or usey chum liya…

Ladki = Uff..! kya kar rahe ho…?

Santa = B.com from Chandigarh University….

Animal

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Santa = Yaar mere mobile par aaj ek ajib sa mesaage aaya or phir mobile 

switch off ho gaya….

Banta = Message kya tha..?

Santa = Battery Low!

Banta = Mujhe forward kar do, sabko daraaenge….

Battery

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Chor(bandook taante hue) = Apni zindagi chahte ho to apna purse mere 

hawaale kar do…

Santa = Ye lo…

Chor = Kitne bewkoof ho tum, meri bandook mein to goli hi nahin hai…. 

ha ha ha ha….

Santa = To mere purse mein kon se rupay hain.. he he he he ;-)

Shoot

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Santa banta se = Chalte chalte kahin ruk jata hun main, Baithe baithe 

kahin so jata hun main…

Kya yehi pyaar hai….

Kya yehi pyaar hai….

Banta = Nahin yaar, doctor ke paas ja, tujhe kamjori ho gayi hai….

Think

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Baap = Santa beta, agar sasuraal wale scooter den to car maangna,

Dukaan den to makaan maangna, coolar den to AC maangna…

Santa = Papa agar wo apni ladki den to kya uski maa ko maangu…?

Father Son

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Santa = Arey baapu..! tumhare daant kaise toot gaye..?

Baap = Hasne ki wajah se….

Santa = Hasne ki wajah se..!! mazaak kar rahe ho…?

Baap = Arey yaar! kal main ek pehelwaan ko dekh kar hans padaa tha….

Teeth

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Santa ek din kothey pe gaya or saari raat mujra dekhta raha..

Mujre wali = Sahab humne aapko khus kiya ab aap humein khus kar do…..

Santa = Achchha ab tu baith, main naachta hun…..

Dance

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Ek baar ek kabutar car se takra gaya or behosh hokar sadak par gir gaya.. 

Driver ne usey ghar le ja kar pinjre mein band kar diya…. 

Kabutar ko hosh aaya to usne dekha ki wo pinjre mein band hai..

Kabutar chillaya = Aaila..! Ye kya mujhe jail ho gayi..!! Lagta hai driver mar gaya……

Bird

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Teacher = Sabse jyada nasha kis chiz mein hota hai..?

Santa = Kitaabon mein..

Teacher = Wo kaise..?

Santa = Kitaab kholte hi neend aa jaati hai….

Sleeping

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Santa ek sunsaan jagah par baitha ro raha tha..

Banta = Yaar santa tum ro kyun rahe ho..?

Santa = Yaar ek ladki ko bhulne ki koshish kar raha hun..

Banta = Ismein rone ki kya baat hai..?

Santa = Jis ladki ko bhulne ki koshish kar raha hun,

uska naam nahin yaad aa raha..!!

Crying

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Santa = Tum ladkiyan itni khubsurat kyun ho..?

Ladki = Kyunki bhagwan ne humein apne haathon se banaya hai..

Ladka = Le, bol to aise rahi hai jaise humein to majduron ko theke pe de 

kar banwaya hai…..

Play

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Santa apni mummy ke saath pataakhe kharidne gaya

Santa = Mummy mummy main saare pataakhe yahin se kharidunga..

Mummy = Oye puttar! ye to girls hostel hai..!

Santa = Lekin papa to kehte hain ki saari phuljhadiyan yahin milti hain….

Crackers

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Mukesh ki patni uski sharaab pine or juaa khelne ki aadat se kaafi pareshaan thi.

Ek din dono bazaar se guzar rahe the ki tabhi ek bhikhari unke paas aaya….

Mukesh = Kya tum juaa khelte ho, sharaab pite ho..?

Bhikhari = Ji nahin saahab..

Mukesh(apni patni se) = Dekha, jo log cigarette, sharaab nahin pite,

juaa nahin khelte hain unki yahi haalat hoti hai….

Mouse

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Santa sukhe talaab mein padi naav chalaa raha tha.

Tabhi banta ki nazar us par padi..

Banta = Oye! ye tussi kya kar rahe ho….?

Santa = Dekh nahin raha, naav chala raha hun..

Banta = Kitna bevkoof hai re tu, Tera kya karun..

Agar mujhe tairna aata na to wahin aakar tujhe maarta…

Boat