Santa = Papa agar main exam pass ho jaunga to kya doge? 

Pappa = Ek cycle dilwaunga..

Santa = Or agar fail hua to? 

Pappa = 10 cycle dilwaunga…

Santa = Pass hone par ek or fail hone dus kyun..? 

Pappa = Padhaai bandh karke cycle ki shop kholne ke liye….

Cycle

************************************************************************************

Bhikhari = 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai. 

Sahab Ki Girlfriend = Dekho, Bhikhari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyaar karta hai. 

Bhikhari = Nahin memsaab, usey pyaar karne ke baad hi main bhikhari ban gaya..

Play

*************************************************************************************

Doctor = Aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. Yeh sleeping tablets leejiye. 

Lady = Unko ye tablets kab dena hai doctor? 

Doctor = Ye unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :)

Sleeping

**************************************************************************************

Santa apne bete se = Is baar agar exam mein fail hua, to mujhe pitaaji mat bulana..

………

Kuch din ke baad… 

.

.

.

.

Santa = Result ka kya hua..? 

Santa ka beta = Sorry santa….!

Family

***************************************************************************************

Teacher = Agar aise hi padhte rahoge to zindagi mein kuch nahi banoge. 

Student = Jab zindagi mein kuch nahi banunga,

Tab main bhi ek teacher ban jaaunga sir……

Student

***************************************************************************************

Boy = Kal main tumhare ghar gaya tha, lagta hai hamari shaadi nahin hogi.. 

Girl = Kyun? Papa se mile the kya..? 

Boy = Nahin, tumhari behen se mila tha……

Couple

****************************************************************************************

Santa = Navy mein kaam hai, karoge..? 

Banta = Zaroor, kya kaam hai? 

Santa = Jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaaye, to tumhe peeche se dhakka lagana hai…..

Boat

*****************************************************************************************

Teacher = Duniya ka sabse purana praani kaunsa hai? 

Student = Zebra hai sir.. 

Teacher = Kaise..?

Student = Kyunki, wo black and white hai na….

zebra

******************************************************************************************

EK gadhe ne sardar to laat mari, 

Sardar uske peeche bhaga, 

Tabhi raste mai use ek Zebra mila,

Sardar ne use laat mari aur bola, 

"Saale Night dress pahan kar ullu banata hai"…..

donkey

******************************************************************************************

Sardar ki wife inspecter se = Mere husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaye the, 

Abhi tak waapis nahi aaye…

Sardar Inspector = To behen kuch or pakaa lo :)

Potato

********************************************************************************************

Wanna make money through Facebook…??

Go to = Account

Account settings->

And click on De-activate your Account

Than..

Start Working…!! ;-)

Money

********************************************************************************************

Kanjus maangeram ek mobile recharge karne wali dukaan par gaya or bola….

2 rupay ka easy recharge kar do…..

Dukaandar(ghusse mein) = Itni badi rakam se recharge karke Std karoge,

Local, sms ya miss call karoge…….?

Kanjus Maangeram = Karna to kuch nahin hai, bas aise hi fizul kharchi ki aadat hai….

Phone
 
*********************************************************************************************
 
Santa = Mari biwi kho gayi hai..
 
Postmaster = Bhai ye to postoffice hai, tumhe to police station jana chahiye….
 
Santa = Kya karun, khusi ke maare kuch samajh mein nahin aa raha hai..
 
isliye yahan chala aaya…
 
Happy
 
**********************************************************************************************
 
Third Wife = Aapki pehli patni kaise mari..?
 
Santa = Zeher kha kar..
 
Wife = Aur doosri..?
 
Santa = Usey goli marni padi..
 
Wife = Kyun..?
 
Santa = Wo zeher nahin kha rahi thi..
 
Shooting
 
**********************************************************************************************
 
Ek aadmi bhaagte hue thaane gayaa or police se kaha,
 
"Mujhe jaldi se hawalaat mein band kar dijiye"….
 
Police = Kyun kya kiya hai tumne..?
 
Aadmi = Maine apni patni ke sir per jor se dandaa maara tha..
 
Police = Achchha, to kya wo mar gayi…?
 
Aadmi = Nahin, wo bach gayi or ab main nahin bachunga….
 
Police
 
***********************************************************************************************
 
Universal truth we learnt…
 
"Sun rises in the east"
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fact = Sun neither rises nor sets, only Earth rotates.
.
.
.
.
 
Moral = Education kills our common sense….
 
Sun
 
**********************************************************************************************
 
An amazing circle
 
Rat scares from cat and cat from dog,
 
Dog scares from wolf and wolf from rhino,
 
Rhino scares from tiger and tiger from elephant,
 
Elephant scares from lion and lion from Man,
 
Man scares from his wife
 
and Wife from
 
?
 
?
 
?
 
?
 
“Rat”
 
Moral: The world is round…..
 
Scare
 
*************************************************************************************************
 
Santa Titanic Jahaaz per tha achanak Titanic doobne laga,
 
Santa = Zameen yahan se kitni dur hai..?
 
Banta = 1 kilometer..
 
Santa jhat se samundar mein kud gaya or bola, "Kis taraf"..?
 
Banta = Niche ki taraf….
 
Boat
 
**************************************************************************************************
 
Santa = Main bohot kanjus hun..
 
Banta = Wo kaise…?
 
Santa = Main apne honeymoon par akela gaya or aadhe paise bacha liye..
 
Banta = Ye to kuch bhi nahin hai, maine to poore paise bacha liye the…
 
Santa = Kaise..?
 
Banta = Maine apni wife to honeymoon par apne dost ke saath bhej diya tha….
 
Funny
 
*******************************************************************************************************
 
Santa apna dog bech raha tha ot santa usey kharidna chahta tha..
 
Banta = Kya ye dog wafaadaar hai..?
 
Santa = Haan haan, bilkul hai..
 
Banta = Wo kaise..?
 
Santa = Maine pehle bhi ise 3 baar becha tha
 
Or ye itna wafaadaar hai ki har baar waapas aa gaya…..
 
Dog