Santa Banta ne hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha. 

Isliye teacher ne unko ped par ulta latakne ki sazaa di.

Thodi der latakne ke baad Santa neeche gir gaya.

Hindi Teacher = Thak gaye kya?

Santa = Nahin, pakk gaya….

Hanging

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Teacher = Raavan ke dus seer hone ka kya faayda hai..?

Student = Wo songs mein chorus ki tarah gaa sakta hai..

sing

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Aamir's Mother = Aamir beta, ye aajkal bijli ka bill itna jyada kyun aa raha hai….?

Aamir = "Main kabhi batlata nahin, par andhere se darta hun main maa.."

Scare

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In a train, a funny desi sardar places his luggage above the seat. 

A Gujarati Gujju was sitting below.

Gujarati Gujju = Sardarji, place your luggage somewhere else.

It will fell on my head.

Desi Sardar = Don't worry friend, there is no breakable item in it.

Luggage

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Makaan Maalik = Makaan ka kiraya 800 rs hai….

Kirayedar = Thik hai, lekin yahan to chuhe naachte rehte hain..

Makaan Maalik = Abey dhakkan! to 800 rs mein kya baar dancer magwaun tere liye…

Dance

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Santa = Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha..?

Mom  = Nahin to beta..!

Santa = To phir paida hone ke baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise??

Son

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Teacher = Santa tumhari attendance bohat kam hai,

Tum exam mein nahin baith paoge.

Banta = Koi baat nahin mera bhai khade khade exam de dega.

Exam

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Santa = Mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai..

Banta = Kyun, itna ghamandi hai kya..? 

Santa = Nahin wo behara hai na…

Hear

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Kid (mobile phone par) = Madam, mera beta aaj school nahi aaygea?

Madam = Aap kon bol rahe ho?

Funny Kid = Mere papa bol rahe hain……

Talking

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Ek sardar ki chhatri(Umbrella) me chhed tha

Ek aadmi ne pucha, chhatri me chhhed kyun? 

Sardar = Oye..! baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega….

Umbrella

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Santa = Yaar tu phone par itni dhimi aawaaz mein baat kyun kar raha hai……?

Banta = Biwi hai yaar..!

Santa = To kya hua….?

Banta = Teri hai…!!

Talk

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Magician = Bachcho, main is rumaal ko jaadu se kabutar banaakar dikhaunga..

Chintu = Ismein kon si badi baat hai, Humari teacher to humein

bina kisi jaadu ke hi murga bana deti hai… :)

Bird

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Wife(ghusse mein) = Aaj tak tumne apni zindagi mein kiya hi kya hai..?

Husband(proudly) = Maine apna jivan khud banaya hai..

Wife = Lo, aur main hun ki ab tak ishwar ko dosh de rahi thi….

Tiger

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Doctor = Tum is duniya mein ab sirf do ghante ke mehmaan ho,

Kya tum marne se pehle kisi ko dekhna chahte ho….?

Patient = Ji haan….

Doctor = Kise..?

Patient = Ek achchhe doctor ko..

Doctor

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Ek ghar ke baahar board laga hua tha or usmein likha tha,

Yahan bijli ke har tarah ke saamaan ki marammat ki jaati hai..

Borad ke niche likha hua tha = Agar ghanti na baje to darwaja khatkhtayen…..

bell

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Teacher = Oxford ka matlab kya hai? 

Student = Ox matlab bail, Ford matlab gaadi to Oxford matlab bail gaadi…..

Ox

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Patient = Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai thoda dhyaan se karna…..

Doctor = Daraa mat, yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai…..

Doctor

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Pehla Bhikhari = Arey bhai, kyun us cinema ke poster ko aise

ghur ghur ke dekh rahe ho..?

Dusra Bhikhari = Kyunki main hi is cinema ka producer hun…..

Producer

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Maalik = Arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod di hai.

Naukar = Bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai….

Clock

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Pehla Paagal = Main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga..

Dusra Paagal = Main use abhi bhechunga hi nahin…..

Funny man