Arz Hai = Unki yaad me hum ne ro ro kar tab bhar diye..!

Aur wo bewafaa aaye or nahaa ke chal diye….

Water

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Husband = Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut badaa faayda hua hai.

Wife = Woh kya..?

Husband = Mujhe mere gunaaho ki sazaa jeete-ji hi mil gayi..!

Punish

*****************************************************************

Amitabh = Mere paas rocket hai, shurli hai, chakri hai,

murga bumb hai, anaar hai, tumhare paas kya hai..?

Shashi kapoor = Mere paas maa….chis hai..! :p

Fireworks

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Little bird in the sky,

Dropping shit in ur eye,

U don't worry u don't cry,

U just thank God that cow does not fly..!

Cow

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Socha tha har mod pe tumhara intezar karenge,

Socha tha har mod pe tumhara intezar karenge,

Magar kambakhat sali sadak hi seedhi nikli.

Wait

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Daali ne daali par nazar daali,

Kisi ne is par daali,

Kisi ne uspar daali,

Hum ne jis par nazar daali,

Uske baap ne uski shaadi kahin aur kar daali….

Animal

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Happy makar sankranti….

Soch rahe ho ki aaj kyun..!!??

Ab tum don ko sikhaoge ki kab wish karna hai..

Don jab bhi chahata hai tab wish karta hai….

Lo.. Happy New Year once again….

Argu

******************************************************************

Aaj ka sawaal = Muhabbat ho jaati hai ya karni parti hai?

Very simple..

Ladki khoobsurat ho to ho jaati hai..

Agar ameer ho to karni parti hai…

Couple

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Ek zamaana tha jab log ghar ke darwaaje par likhte the,

"Atithi Devo Bhawa"

Phir likhne lage, "Shub Laabh"

Phir likha "Ur Welcome"

Aur ab…

"Kutte Se Saawdhaan"

Dog

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Baap = Tum ne apni ammi se unchi aawaz mein baat ki..?

Beta = Mujhe pata hai ki aapko jalan ho rahi hai..

Baap = Wo kaise..?

Beta = Kyun ki aap aisa kar nahi sakte….

Father

********************************************************************

Santa ka radio kharab ho gaya,

Khol kar dekha to andar chuha mara pada tha…

Santa dekh kar bola = Yeh lo chalega kaise, 

saala singer toh mar gaya hai..

Music

********************************************************************

Santa = Qutub minaar kahan hai..?

Pappu = Pata nahin..

Santa = Kabhi ghar se nikla karo..

Pappu = Shyamlaal kaun hai..?

Santa = Pata nahin..

Pappu = Kabhi ghar pe bhi raha karo..

Argu

********************************************************************

Socho agar aap kisi ladki ko kahein, "I LOVE U"

Or wo palat kar aapkO apna mobile number dede to 

Aap Is ko kya kahenge….

.

.

.

.

.

"Khawaab"..

Dog

*********************************************************************

Paani mein whiskey milao to nasha chadta hai. 

Paani mein rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. 

Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai….

Drunk

*********************************************************************

Aap kutte gadhe suar lomdi kauve kabutar jaise hain.. 

Mera matlab "Wafadaar, Mahnati, Active, Chalaak, Smart,  Shaant" hain….

Work

*********************************************************************

Can't beat this one….

Rajnikanth's dog house has a singhboard on it 

Saying….

"Maalik Se Saawdhan".

Dog

**********************************************************************

Gandhiji ne kyu kaha angrejo ko,

"Chale Jao"..

Gandhiji ne kyu kaha angrejo ko,

"Chale Jao"..

Melody khao khud jaan jao….

Eating

**********************************************************************

Ek Sawal aap se..

2 din tak lagataar barsaat kyun nahi ho sakti? .

. .

. .

. .

. .

Ans = Kyun ki beech me raat bhi to hoti hai..

Think Hatke…..!!

Rain

**********************************************************************

Gadha kitna bekaar jaanwar hai duniya is ko nakara hi samajti hai,

Ismein akal bhi nahin hoti magar is bechaare ki himaat to dekho..

Ye sms kitne ghore se padh raha hai…..

Donkey

**********************************************************************

Maine apne ghar walon ko samjha diya hai,

Wo sab maan gaye hain tum bhi apne ghar walon ko bata do,

Wo bhi maan jaaaenge..

Ki…………

"Shaan biryani ke saath korma masaala free hai"….

Chicken

**********************************************************************

Many many Haapy Returns of the day 2 u….

Dekha tum ne kya socha tha..?

Aap nahin bataoge to mujhe pata nahi lagega ki aaj…..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Animals Day Hai….

Ant

**********************************************************************

Fresh flowers for you…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What are you looking for…???

Flowers….!!??

Have some sense yaar.. Ye mobile hai gamlaa nahin….

Flower

*************************************************************************

Agar 5 minute mein tumhara koi bhi msg nahi aaya to..

To….

To….

To….

Aaj apni dosti khatam….

Aur….

Kal se phir shuru….

Chat

**************************************************************************

What is the moral of Rajnikant's movie

"THE ROBOT"

Ladki sirf insan ka hi nahin..

Machine ka bhi dimaag kharab kar sakti hai…..

Robot

**************************************************************************

Arz karta hun….

Chali gayi munni, Bhag gayi sheela….

Chali gayi munni, Bhag gayi sheela

Kyun ke….

Ab Karega Salmaan Sab Ka 'Character Dheela'….

Dance

**************************************************************************

Maa ke liye wo kaunsi baat hai jo beta kare toh bura 

Aur damad kare toh acchi hoti hai.

….

 

Sochho

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Joru ki gulami"….

Couple

****************************************************************************

Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya..

Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya..

Ke kal raat maine itna kyun khaya….!!

Eating

****************************************************************************

Log mere bare me pata ni kya sochte honge.

.

.

.

.

.

Agar ye bhi main sochun..

.

.

.

.

.

.

To fir log kya sochenge…..

Think

***************************************************************************

How a girl replies if Himesh proposes…

O huzoor, bhaad me jaaye tera suroor,

Surat se hai tu khajoor,

Bidi ki factory ka majdoor,

Chal hoja door abey langoor….!

Sing

***************************************************************************

Rajnikant got selected in "ROADIES"

Next day after the vote-out….

.

.

Rajni = I am sorry Raghu, Rajiv..

Aapka Roadies ka safar yahin khatam hota hai…..

Interview

***************************************************************************

Believe in karma ,

Not in Raashi,

Remember..

Ram & Raavan,

Krishna & Kans,

Gandhi & Godse,

Obama & Osama,

Inki "Rashi" same..

Lekin karm 'Alag Alag'………

Good Bad