Teacher = Raju tum Kis liye college Aate ho? 

Student = Vidya ki khaatir…. 

Teacher = To ab so kyun rahe ho?

Student = Aaj vidya nahin aayi hai sir….

Funny Sms n Jokes

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Santa = Tumhe kyun arrest kiya hai? 

Banta = Maine 50 rupay ke chillar diye the isliye. 

Santa = Usme galti kya hai? 

Banta = Maine chillar mein do 25 rupay ke note diye the :-)

Arrest
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Bhikhari = 10 rupay dedo sahab, girlfriend ko phone karna hai. 

Sahab Ki Girlfriend = Dekho, Bhikhari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyaar karta hai. 

Bhikhari = Nahin memsaab, usey pyaar karne ke baad hi main bhikhari ban gaya…. ;-)

Kidding

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Ramu = Tum kaunsa soap use karte ho? 

Banta = Main santa soap, santa paste aur santa shampoo use karta hun..

Ramu = Wo kya international brand hai? 

Banta = Nahin, santa mera room mate hai…

Bath

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Teacher = Jeene ke liye Oxygen jaroori hai. Iska avishkaar 1773 mein kiya gaya tha..

Pappu = Baap re..! Bach gaya!! Agar usse pehle paida hota to main mar jata….

Scientist

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School mein aag lag gayi, sab bachche khush the ki,

Ab school nahin jana padega par ek bachcha udaas tha….

Sir = Beta why are you sad?

Student = Sir aap zinda kaise bache…..? :(

Student

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Santa apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. Batao kyun? 

Kyunki use check karna tha ki uske cellphone mein bluetooth hai ki nahin.

Phone

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Santa = Papa agar main exam pass ho jaunga to kya doge? 

Pappa = Ek cycle dilwaunga..

Santa = Or agar fail hua to? 

Pappa = 10 cycle dilwaunga…

Santa = Pass hone par ek or fail hone dus kyun..? 

Pappa = Padhaai bandh karke cycle ki shop kholne ke liye….

Cycle

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Santa = Mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hi baitha rehta hai. 

Banta = Lekin phir bhi wo fail kyun hua? 

Santa = Wo book "facebook" tha na, isliye…….

Book

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Santa = Main apni wife ko bohot pyaar karta hun, or tum..? 

Banta = Wo to tumhaari wife hai na, main kaise pyaar kar sakta hun..?

Play

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Sardar bhagta hua hotel maneger ke paas gaya or kaha = Mere saath aao..

Meri biwi khidki se kudna chahti hai..

Manager = To ismein main kya kar sakta hun sir..?

Sardar = Khidki khul nahin rahi hai….

Jump

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Teacher = Tum desh ke liye kya kya karte ho?

Santa = Paani ki bachat karta hun.. Hafte mein sirf ek baar hi nahata hun…..

Bath

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Ek ladki doctor se phone par kehti hai = Dr. mere bhai ko electric shock lag

gaya hai, main kya karun..?

Doctor bola = Sabse pehle to bhagwan ka sukriya adaa karo ki tumhare ghar

mein light hai….

Shock

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Banta = Agar tumhara ek lakh ka inaam nikal aaye to tum kya karoge….

Santa = Main pagal ho jaunga aur wo ek lakh rupay apne ilaaj par lagaunga….

Mad

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Musharraf = Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 51 topein chalayi thi.

Funny Santa = Kamaal hai ji, sabka nishana chook gaya..?

Canan

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Ek din ek pathan kisi baat ko le kar kuch soch raha tha..

Wo baar baar soch raha tha..

Phir baar baar sochne ki wajah se wo behosh ho gaya..

Wo kya soch raha tha…?

Wo soch raha tha ki.. agar meri sister ke do bhai hain,

To mera ek kyun…?

Think

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Ek baar santa paise jamaa karne ke liye bank gaya..

Officer = Ye note fataa hai dusra do..

Santa = Main apne a/c mein jamaa kar raha hun na..

Fataa karun ya nayaa tujhe usse kya matlab hai bey…??

Saving money

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Baba Ji ka dera bohot chamatkari hai…….

Sach mano wahan jo bhi koi buri niyat se jata hai, 

jalke bhasam ho jata hai….

Salman wahan gaya to bhasam ho gaya, 

Hrithik bhi gaya or bhasam ho gaya. 

Mallika wahan gayi to…

.

.

.

.

to anarth ho gaya….

Babaji jalke bhasam ho gaye..!!!

Angry

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Baniye ki biwi bimaar thi,

Light na hone ki wajah se baniye ne candle jala di or bola: –

Doctor ko bulane ja raha hun,

Agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to please ye candle jaroor bhuja dena…..

Candle

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Asian to a British = Do you know we have made such thing,

which can able us to see through the wall….

British with wonder = What is that?

Asian = Hole

Hole