Santa = Mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai..

Banta = Kyun, itna ghamandi hai kya..?

Santa = Nahin wo behara hai na…

Hear

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Arz Hai, “Unki yaad me hum ne ro ro kar tab bhar diye“..!

Aur wo bewafa aaye or naha ke chal diye….

Bucket

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Ek zamaana tha jab log ghar ke darwaaje par likhte the, “Atithi Devo Bhawa

Phir likhne lage, “Shub Laabh

Phir likha “Ur Welcome

Aur ab…

Kutte Se Saawdhaan

Dog

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Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.

Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai….

drunk

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Gandhiji ne kyu kaha angrejo ko,

“Chale Jao”..

Gandhiji ne kyu kaha angrejo ko,

“Chale Jao”..

Melody khao khud jaan jao….

toffee
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Jab baarish hoti hai tum yaad aate ho,
Jab kaali ghataa chaaye tum yaad aate ho,
Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho,
Batao meri chhtari kab waapis kroge..!
Umbrella
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Jis waqt khuda ne tumhain banaya hoga,
Ek suroor sa uske dil pe bhi chaya hoga..
Pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakhun,
Phir tabhi usey zoo ka khayal aaya hoga….

Zoo

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In a train, ticket checker to a saint = Ticket please..!
Saint = I don’t have any ticket….
Ticket checker = Where do you want to go..?
Saint = Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya..!
Ticket checker = Come, lets go..!
Saint = Where…?
Ticket checker = Lord Krishna’s birth place, Jail..
Jail
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A girl checks her weight – 58kg
Removes sandals – 56kg
Then Dupatta – 52kg
Now coins finished…….
.
.
.
.
A boy in a Q behind her n said,
U carry on, I have coins…!
weight
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Meherbaan kadardaan dekho mere sms ka kamaal,
Ghanti bajegi bander naachega,
Mobile uthayega sms padega ab muskurayega,
Ab banda hoshiyari dikhayega or msg forward karega….
Reading
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Girl = Mom, i m in love with a guy..
Mom shocked n asked = How old is the boy, and what is he doing…?
Girl = 3 month & kicking happily in my stomach….
shocked
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Banta road se gujar raha tha,
Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya,
Or phir jor se chillaya…. “Kamineee…
Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise “Samosa” pada ho.
Angry
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Aunty chhote puppy se = Oye hoye! kinna sona doggy hai..!!
Mmmuaah.. Mmmuaah.. Mmmuaah..!
Boy = Lekin aunty..
Aunty = Oye! kiss karne de!
Mmmuaah.. Mmmuaah.. Mmmuaah..!!
.
.
.
Boy = Lekin aunty iska muh idhar nahi dusri taraf hai!
Puppy
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Son = Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad = An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange,
And long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him.
Do you understand me?
Son = No..!
Father
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Sometimes u might catch me staring at you. It’s not because you are cute,
But b’coz my mom told me that devils have tails,
And I’m just wondering where’s yours….?
Devil
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Why are egyptian children always confused?
Because after death, their daddy becomes a “MUMMY“.
Mummy
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If child labour is a crime….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then why teacher gives homework..??
work
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A boy sitting with his girlfriend,
Drinking beer says = “I love u”
Girlfriend says = Is it you or the beer talking..?
.
.
Boy replies = “its me,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
talking 2 d beer”…
Drink
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Like the flower waiting to bloom….
Like the light bulb in the dark room…
Like the desert waiting for rain….
I’m just sitting here n waiting for u to see jumping…
Come Back to Zoo“..!!
Zoo
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Santa ka radio kharab ho gaya, Khol kar dekha to andar chuha mara pada tha…
Santa dekh kar bola = Yeh lo chalega kaise, sala singer toh mar gaya hai.
Music