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Non-Veg Jokes

Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi. 

Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai. 

Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi 'O God…O God'…

Pray

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Santa ek din badaa confuse sa tha aur usne banta se pucha..

Santa = “Yaar teri biwi chalu hai, mujhe hamesha dekh ke muskurati rehti hai..?”

Banta = "Oye nahin yaar aisa kuch nahin hai, usne mujhse suhagraat pe puchha tha,

kya maine kabhi kisi ke saath sex kiya hai, to maine tera naam le liya tha"….

Stare

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Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine aapse shaadi is liye ki hai

taaki humaare bachche hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye"……

Shouting

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1 girl ask to pappu = Woh kya hai jo cow ke paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain..?

Pappu = Legs

Girl = Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahin hai..?

Pappu = Rupay

Girl = Woh kya hai jo log din main karne ke bajaye raat ko bistar pe kartay hain..?

Pappu = Neend puri karte hain…

Girl = Woh kya hai jo ladki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai…?

Pappu = Kaan(Ear) main chhed..

 

MORAL = Aap bhi apni soch pappu ki tarha saaf rakhein….

Talking

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Banta road se gujar raha tha,

Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya, Or phir jor se chillaya….

Kamineee…

Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise "Samosa" pada ho….

Angry

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Teacher class mein = “Bachho, jimmedari pe ek sentance banao”

Santa = “Madam ji, agar aapke blause ke 4 mein se 3 batan toot jaaye,

to saari "Jimmedari" sirf ek batan par hogi.

Teacher

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Mom = Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

Girl = Ladka to theek hai par mota hai.

Mom = TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

Remote

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Mother = Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra? 

Daughter = Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

Necklace

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Sex is like a restaurant sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service,

sometimes no service & many times u have to be happy wid self service….

Repair

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Santa = Mujhse pangaa mat le, main sher ka puttar hun..

Banta = Achchha yaar, ye to bata ki sher ghar aaya tha ya aunti jungle gayi thi….

Tiger

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Ek din boss apne office time se pehle pohonch gaya, wahan pohonch kar 

usne dekha ki manager secretary ko kiss kar raha hai..

Boss(ghusse mein) = Kya main tumko ye sab karne ke liye salary deta hun..?

Manager = Nahin sir, Ye sab to main free of cost karta hun….

Work

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Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,

In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya handset bhi le jayege"..

Connection

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Girl = Main jab bhi apne pados wale ladke ko dekhti hoon, meri bra tight ho jati hai. 

Maa Boli = "Kal se bra hi mat pehan, uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"

Girl Boy

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Girl = Ab bas bhi kro raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subh k 5:30 baj chuke hai,

thake nahin..?

Boy = Abhi to kuch bhi nahin kiya ab to din raat karunga. 

Kyunki mere 3000 msg jo free hai….

Chat

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Santa = Mein tumhare liye churiyan laya hoon. 

Maid = Aap hi pehna dijiye. 

Santa = Mujhe tumhara response pehle pata hota to mein panty lekar aata.

Dog

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Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi. 

Wajah puchne par santa bola = Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.

Mouse

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Pregnant girl se doctor ne pucha = Yeh kab hua? 

Girl = Jab mom n dad film dekhne gaye the, tab mera friend ghar aaya tha. 

Doctor = Tum saath kyun nahin gayi..?

Girl = Adult movie thi na….

Pregnant

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Teri sula ke lun, 

Ya bitha ke lun,

Ya tujhe karun khada..

Ya phir teri jhuka-jhuka ke lun..?

Ab tu hi bata ki mein teri….

.

.

.

"Photo kaise lun"…..

Photo

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A man to shopkeeper = Ek White colour ka condom dena. 

Shopkeeper = White hi kyun? 

Man = Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai afsos karne jaana hai.

Snail

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Santa apni sasuraal mein apni wife se = Chalo sex karte hain..

Wife = Nahin ye mere baap ka ghar hai..

Santa = To mere baap ka ghar chaklaa hai kya, jo roz taiiyaar ho jaati hai…?

Couple

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