Santa = Agar main is saal bhi fail ho gaya to main suicide kar lunga..

Pitaa = Khabardaar, agar aisa kiya to.. main tujhe jaan se maar dunga..

Kill

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Teacher = Java ke teen roop kon-kon se hain..?

Santa = Mar java, Mit java, Lut java…..

Funny

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Santa kisi ladki ke ghar rishta lekar gaya..

Ladki ke gharwale = Humari ladki abhi padh rahi hai..

Santa = Koi baat nahin hun ek ghante baad aate hain..

Reading

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Santa samundar mein doob raha tha, achaanak uske haath mein ek machli aa gayi.

Usne machli ko pakad ke baahar phenk diya or kaha,

"Ja main to mar raha hun, kam se kam tu to apni jaan bacha le"..

Fish

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Santa = Yaar petrol ke daam badh gaye hain..

Banta = Kya fark padta hai yaar, main to tab bhi 100 rupay ka petrol dalwata tha

Or abhi bhi utne ka hi dalwata hun….

Petrol

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Maine uska chehra thappad maar maar kar laal kar diya, pata hai kyun..?

Kyunki usne kaha tha ki, "Thappad se dar nahin lagta saahab, pyaar se lagta hai"….

Slap

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Santa banta se = Mujhe kal raat bhar neend nahin aayi..

Banta = Kyun bhai, kya hua..?

Santa = Kal raat bhar neend mein main yehi sapna dekhta raha ki main jaag raha hun..

Dream

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Americi = Humare yahan 90% shaadiyan e-mail se hoti hai..

Santa = Kya baat kar rahe ho, humare yahan to 100% shaadiyan female se hi hoti hai..

Playing

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Doctor santa se = Bachche ko ubaal kar paani pilana..

Santa = Bachche ko ubaalunga to bachcha mar ni jaaega….

Boiling

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Santa = Tumhe mere rishtedaar pasand nahin hain..?

Wife = Kya baat kar rahe ho..! Mujhe to apni saas se jyada tumhari saas 

achchhi lagti hai….

Family

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Santa(In Art Gallery) = Is bhyaanak painting ko aap modern art kehte ho..?

Painter = Arey! Aap yahan apna dimaag mat lagaayiye, ye aaina(miror) hai….

Mirror

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Ek baar rajnikant ne ek ekad ka kheit kharida or uske chaaro kono par 

kuein(well) khudwaaye..

Ab rajnikant wahan carrom khelta hai….

Well

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Santa = Darling, aaj barsaat ho rahi hai, mousam bhi bohot achchha hai, 

koi aisi baat kaho ki mere pair zameen par na rahein….

Wife = Darling phaansi laga lo……

Flying

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Teacher = Bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharaab, cigarette, ladki inko nahin 

chhuoge or desh ke liye jaan doge….

Bachche = Jaan bhi de denge sir, aisi zindagi ji kar karenge bhi kya..?

Smoking

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Santa = Tum to jaante hi ho ki main mehnat karke niche se upar aaya hun..

Banta = Kyun nahin, pehle tum boot polish kiya karte the or ab seer par 

tail maalish ka kaam karte ho……

Shoes

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Santa burf(Ice) ke tukde ko gour se dekh raha tha..

Wife = Kya dekh rahe ho ji..

Santa = Dekh raha hun ki kahan se leak ho raha hai….

Ice

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Santa ko raat mein machchharo ne bohot kaata..

Tang aa kar jab santa se raha nahin gaya to wo utha or zeher ki sisi poori pee gaya…

Santa = Ab kaato saalon, sab ke sab maroge…

Mosquito

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Santa chashme ki shop par = Bhai saahab, ye chashma lagane ke baad main 

padh to paunga na…

Dukaandaar = Haan haan, bilkul padh paoge….

Santa = Phir to thik hai, warna anpadh aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai…?

Fish

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Santa(raat ko) = Yaar time kitna hua hai..?

Banta ne sadak se ek patthar uthaya or saamne wale ghar ki khidki par maara..

Budhi aurat = Raat ke ek baje kiska dimaag kharaab ho raha hai..?

Throw

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Santa(Banta se) = Yaar banta bahut der se neend nahin aa rahi, kya karun..?

Banta = Thik hai, tu wait kar, jab so jaaye to mujhe jagaa diyo….

Cat