Ek aadmi ne jootey chhote pehen rakhe the,

Golu ne dekha or kaha uncle ye jootey aapne kahan se liye..?

Aadmi gusse mein bola = Ped se tode hain..

Golu = Agar do chaar mahine baad todte to aapke pair ke kaabil ho jata, 

Jara jaldi ki aapne….

Shoes

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Saas = Bhagwan ne tumhe do aankhein di hai chaawal mein se patthar saaf 

nahin kar sakti kya…?

Bahurani = Bhagwan ne aapko battis daant diye hain, do-chaar patthar 

nahin chabaa sakti kya..?

Teeth

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Premi premika ne unchayi se aatmahatya karne ka plan banaya..

Ladka kud gaya lekin ladki nahin kudi..

Aadhe raste mein ladke ne parachute khola or chilaaya….

"Mujhe pata tha chudail tu nahin kudegi"….

Parachute

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Lady to Lawyer = Mujhe mere pati se talaaq chahiye.

Lawyer = Magar woh to kabaddi ka Champion hai.

Lady = yehi to problem hai, Kamina sirf hath laga kar bhaag jata hai.

Running

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Rail ke dibbey mein santa chupchaap baitha tha.

Ye dekhkar banta se raha nahin gaya…

Banta = Bhai santa, tumhara rumaal niche gir gaya hai..

Santa = Mera rumaal gir gaya hai, ussey aapko kya matlab..?

Aapka coat cigarette se jal raha hai, lekin maine to kuch nahin kaha….

Talk

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Wife husband se = Tu jahan jahan chalega, mera saaya saath hoga…

mera saaya…. mera saaya…

Husband = Mujhe to pehle se hi shaq tha ki tu bhutni hai….

Dead

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Ek ladki santa se takraa gayi..

Ladki = I am sorry..

Santa = I am santa, nice to meet you miss "sorry"..

Ladki = No….! I am angry..

Santa = Arey! kamaal hai, baat baat pe naam kyun badal deti ho….?

Playing

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Circuit = Bhai, bole to pehle to sirf raat ko hi machchhar kaat-tey the,

ab to din mein kaatne lage..

Munna bhai = Abey circuit, tune ye recession ke baare mein nahin suna..?

Poore world mein mandee ki maar aisi hai ki insaan to kya ab machchharo

ko bhi din raat kaam karna padta hai….

Mosquito

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Santa = Mera mobile bill kitna hai..?

Customer care girl = Sir apna current bill jaanne ke liye 123 dial karein…

Santa = Bevkoof, current(electric) bill nahin, mobile bill………

Customer Care

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Santa pehli baar plane par chadha. Plane start hua or runway par doudne laga..

Ye dekh kar santa ko ghussa aa gaya or jaakar pilot ko ek thappad maar diya..

Santa = Mujhe late ho raha hai or tu by road ja raha hai..

Plane

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Photographer santa ek laash ki tashveer le raha tha ki tabhi achaanak log 

usey pitne lage.. jaante hain kyun..?

Kyunki santa ne laash se kaha = "Smile Please"

Dead

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Husband = Mera phone aaye to kehna ki main ghar par nahin hun..

Tabhi achaanak phone ki ghanti baji….

Wife ne phone uthaya or kaha = Wo abhi ghar par hain.. 

Phone rakhne ke baad..

Husband(chidte hue) = Tumhe kaha tha na manaa kar dena phir tumne kyun 

kaha ki main ghar par hun…..

Wife = Aapne apne phone ke liye manaa kiya tha,

Lekin wo phone to mere liye aaya tha..

Talk

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Santa jeep mein baith kar kahin ja raha tha..

Tabhi jeep ek peid se jaakar takraayi or palat gayi….

Santa ko hosh aaya to usne dekha ek aadmi chikh chikh kar keh raha tha..

Mera haath kat gaya.. mera haath kat gaya….

Santa = Kyun chikh rahe ho bhai.. udhar us driver ko dekho,

uska to seer kat gaya hai magar kya wo tumhari tarah shor macha raha hai…..!!

Accident

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Ek baar santa or banta ke beech mein jhagda ho raha tha..

Santa = Mere daddy tumhare daddy se jyada achchhe hain..

Banta = Ye to ho hi nahin sakta…

Santa = Meri mummy tumhari mummy se jyada achchhi hai…

Banta = Haan ye ho sakta hai, kyunki ye baat to mere daddy bhi

hamesha kehte rehte hain….

Family

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Bheed mein kaafi der se khadaa abhineta autograph dete dete jab thak gaya,

to usne ek yuvti ki copy mein gadhe ki photo bana kar yuvti ki or badha di..

Yuvti(ghusse mein chillakar) = Mujhe aapki photo nahin, autograph chahiye…..

Autograph

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Ek baar santa ne ek ladki ko kamal ka phool diya.

Ladki ne santa ke gaal par jor ka thappad mara.

Santa = Main to bhajpa ka prachaar kar raha tha..

Ladki ne jawaab diya = Main bhi to congress ka prachaar kar rahi hun…

Flower

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Santa ki car kharaab ho gayi or wo mechanic ke paas pohonche.

Car check karne ke baad..

Santa = Oye! kya kharaabi hai gaddi mein..?

Mechanic = Sir ji, battery kharaab hai..

Santa = To soch kya raha hai, badal de….

Mechanic = "Exide" laga dun..

Santa = Oye! Exide(ek side) kyun lagayega, dusri side kya tera baap lagayega..?

Repairing

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Bablu or uske dost ke beech jhagdaa ho gaya..

Bablu rota hua apni mummy ke paas gaya..

Bablu = Mummy, isne mujhe sachcha kaha..

Bablu ki mummy(dost ko daante hue) = Badmaash, teri itni majaal,

Tune mere bete ko sachcha kaha..! Sachcha hoga tera baap…

Fight

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Husband or wife ka raat ko jhagdaa hua..

Agle din subha husband apni wife ke liye dudh laya or kaha = Lo dudh pee lo..

Wife = So sweet, tum kitne achchhe ho…

Husband = Aisa kuch nahin hai, aaj naag panchami hai isi liye dudh pila raha hun…. :)

Drinking

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Wife = Kal raat tum neend mein mujhe gaaliyan de rahe the….

Husband = Tumnhe galatfehmi hui hai…

Wife = Kaisi galafehmi….?

Husband = Yehi ki main soya hua tha…

Sleeping