Grahambel found telephone,

Edison found elctric bulb,

Marconi found radio,

Columbus found America,

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Tu bas mobile nu angutha maare ja nalayak..!

Mobile

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Police Inspector = Have you caught the thief..?

Hawaldar = No, but I found some trace of him.

Police Inspector = What?

Hawaldar = Finger prints.

Police Inspector = Where?

Hawaldar = On my cheeks.

Slap

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Beta = Maa kya tum pehle circus mein kaam karti thi?

Maa  = Nahin to, Kyun..?

Beta = To phir sabhi log aisa kyun kehte hain ki tum papa ko ungliyon pe nachati ho..?

Circus

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Champak = Socha call kar lun, tum miss kar rahi hogi..

Ladki ka baap = 15 min pehle hi ladhaayi hui thi, wo kya tha..?

Champak = Oh teri..! phir ghar ka number lag gaya….

Shout

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Maalkin = Tu 3 din se kaam par kyun nahin aayi.

Kaamwali = Maine to facebook par update kiya tha ki main gaon ja rahi hun,

Or aapke pati ne comment bhi likhi thi, "Miss U".

Walk

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Munna = Jo log chori karte hain wo baad mein pachhtaate hain..

Munni = Bade aaye lecture dene wale….

Shaadi se pehle tum bhi to chori se meri kiss kiya karte the..

Munna = Tabhi to aaj bhi pachhta raha hun….

Theft

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Ek doctor bachche ke pair ka taanka katne aaya…..

Doctor = Beta wo dekho upar.. sone ki chidiya..

Bachcha = Niche dekh, kahin pair na kat jaaye, badaa aaya chidiya ka mama..

Bird

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Teen kaidi jail mein baithkar apne apne anubhav bata rahe the..

Pehla = Main pichle chunaav mein ek raastriya dal ke ummidwaar sukhraam 

ka jordaar samarthan karne ke jurm mein yahan hun..

Dusra = Or main usi sukhraam ka virodh karne ke kaaran jail ki hawaa 

kha raha hun.

Teesra = Bohot khub, or wo sukhraam main khud hun….

Jail

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Garmi ke din the or mehmaan ki bheed..

Khana khaate samay maa boli: -Khane se pehle bhagwaan ki pooja ki jaati hai..

Bachcha bola = Kon si….?

Maa = Wahi, jo main aksar kehti hun..

Bachche ne aankhein band ki, haath jode or bola = Hey bhagwan,

itni garmi mein ye log kahan se aa gaye..?

Prayer

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Ek aadmi ne chhotey jootey pehen rakhe the.. 

Golu ne dekha or kaha = uncle ye jootey aapne kahan se liye..?

Aadmi gusse mein bola = Ped se tode hain..

Golu = Agar do chaar mahine baad todte to aapke pair ke kaabil ho jaate..

jara jaldi ki aapne…….

Walk

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Film Director to actor = The funniest thing is that,

You have to jump in the swimming pool from a height of 100 feet.

Actor = But i don't know how to swim…..

Film Director = Don't worry, there is no water in the pool…..

Swimming

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Ek aadmi cycle par ja raha the, or cycle ke piche uska bachcha jor jor se ro raha tha.. 

Bachche ko rote dekh raah chalte ek aadmi ne kaha = Bhaisahab,

Aapka bachcha ro raha hai, kya baat hai..?

Cycle par sawaar aadmi ne kaha = Wo to ise rulaya hai,

Kyun ki cycle mein bell nahin hai na isliye….

Driving

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Girlfriend to Boyfriend = My sweet baby, my chicky chicky, my gulgula. 

Would you marry me ?

Funniest Boyfriend = Are you proposing me or adopting me….?

Propose

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Kid (on mobile phone) = My son will not come to school today…..

Madam = Who is speaking ?

Funny Kid = My father speaking….

School

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Funny Santa sends hindi sms to Banta = Sender is great, reader is fool.

Banta angrily replies the sms = Sender is fool, reader is great.

Chat

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Brain tumor ke patient sonu ko bataya gaya ki,

Usey tatkaal brain transfer karaane ki jarurat hai….

Surgeon ne kaha = Tumhe 10 graam bhartiya dimaag 10 hazaar mein,

Japani 20 hazaar mein, amrikan 30 hazaar mein milega….

Itna hi chinese dimaag 50 hazaar rupay mein milega…

Sonu = Chinese dimaag itna mehenga kyun hai..?

Kya wo log bohot buddhimaan hote hain..?

Surgeon = Nahin, unke paas dimaag kam hota hai, humein dher saare 

chinese logon ko laana padega, tab jaakar 10 graam dimaag niklega…

Patient

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Har aadmi ka sapna,

Saat ankon mein salary,

Chhey ankon mein bachat,

Paanch bedroom wala ghar,

Chaar pahiyon ki gaadi,

Teen hafton ki chhuttiyan,

Do pyaare bachche or,

Ek gungi biwi…

Money

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Ek train bahut der baad chali..

Muslim = Ya ali balaa tali..

Hindu = Jai Bajrang Bali..

Sardar = Arey Ali or Bali, train apni nahin saath wali chali….

Train

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A Hindi man goes to the ashram of Desi Baba Ji and says: –

I can't concentrate on pooja (prayer)…. Tell me some way.

Baba Ji = Send that girl Pooja to me, I will try to concentrate on her.

Play

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Ek paagal american se = Tum japani ho..?

American = Nahin main american hun..

Paagal = Nahin tum japani ho..

American = Nahin bhai main american hun..

Paagal = Japani ho..

American = Nahin bhai nahin, american hun..

Paagal = Tum japani hi ho…

American = Haan haan thik hai, main japani hi hun.. khush..?

Paagal = Lekin tum lagte to american ho..?

Laugh