school

Sardar Ji Jokes

Sardar apni girlfriend se bola = Main tumhare saath shaadi nahin kar sakta,

mere gharwale nahin maanenge.

Girlfriend = Kon kon hai tumhare ghar mein..?

Sardar = Ek patni or teen bachche…..

Music

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Santa dukaandaar se = Murga kaise diya hai?

Dukaandaar = 80 rupay, 50 rupay or 10 rupay..

Santa = 10 rupay ka..! itna sastaa..?

Dukaandaar = Saahab ise aids hai..

Santa = De do khana hi to hai, shaadi thodi na karni hai..

Chicken

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Sardar saw a very high Airtel tower & red light glowing on the top. 

Seeing this he said "India is developing fast,

See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air"

Aeroplane

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Ek sardar jalebi bech raha tha,

Magar keh raha tha “Aaloo Le Lo Aaloo..!

Ek aadmi aaya or bola = Par ye to jalebi hai..

Sardar = Chup Ho Ja..! Warna makkhiyan aa jaayegi.

Fly

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Ek baar ek chor ek sardar ka mobile chhin kar bhaag gaya.

Saradr kuch dur uske piche bhaga phir ruk kar chilla kar bola,

"Le jaa kutte, charger to mere paas hi hai"…

Running

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Ek mandir ban raha tha ki achanak ek majdoor kaafi unchhayi se gir gaya. 

Uski jaan to bach gayi lekin chotein bahut aayi..

Ek pandit ne use girte hue dekha to bhaag kar uske paas gaya

or usey jinda dekhkar kaha, bhagwan tere saath the beta…

Majdoor dard se kraahte hue bola = Haan koi na koi to jaroor mere paas tha,

Warna mujhe dhakka koun deta……

Player

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2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile…..

First Sardar = Chal police ko de kar aate hain. 

Second Sardar = Agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to? 

First Sardar = Jhoot bol denge ki ek hi mila tha….

Bomb

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Train chali, sardar Ji bhaagte hue ek Dibbe me chad gaye.

TT bola = Kyun paaji..? Dikta nahi, ladies ka dibba hai?

Funny Sardar Ji = Sorry Ji Sorry ! Mere ko laga aap Mard ho…

Running

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Police = Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaansi di jayegi. 

Sardar = Ha Ha Ha Ha! 

Police = Kyon hasn rahe ho? 

Sardar = Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Running

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Maalik to Sardar = Tu to kehta tha ke tu thakta nahi hai. Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.

Funny Sardar = Mere naa thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.

Sleeping

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Man = Sardar ji aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho? 

Sardar = AC k paas ja kar baith jata hun 

Man = Agar phir bhi garmi lage to? 

Sardar = To A/C on kar leta hun..

Rest

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Ek baar sardar ko uske dost ne ghar par bulaya. Sardar jab dost ke ghar 

pohoncha to darwaaja band tha or board par likha tha, "kaisa ullu banaya"..

Sardar ne jawaab mein likha, "Main to tere ghar aaya hi nahin"….

Mouse

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Sardar = Yaar mujhe ek hathora or keel chahiye computer ke liye. 

Sales man = Magar computer me inka kya kaam? 

Sardar = Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

Repair

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First Sardar = Oye yaar main badi mushkil me hun,

Meri biwi mujh se ek pappi ka ek rupya leti hai.

Second Sardar = Yaar tu to lucky hai, Auron se to wo 5 rupay leti hai.. ;-)

Kiss

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First Sardar = oye agar neend na aaye to kya kiya jaaye..? 

Second Sardar = Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaaye..

Waiting

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Ek sardar rail ki patri per so gaya . 

Ek aadmi ne kaha = Kya kar rahe ho..? Train aayegi to mar jaoge! 

Sardar = Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Railway track

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Train me ek funny desi sardar ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne wali jagah par rakh diya.

Neeche ek gujraati aadmi baitha tha.

Gujarati aadmi = Sardarji, apna samaan kahi aur rakho, mere seer pe gir jaayega.

Desi Sardar = Koi baat nahin dost, iss me tutne wali koi cheez nahin hai.

Luggage

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Sardar to Bania = Sethji, hum ek anath ashram bana rahe hain.

Bania = Very good !

Sardar = Aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Kanjoos Bania = Main anaath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

Playing

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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone,

And he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".

Dancing

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Sardar ka bachcha school gaya..

Teacher = Mere paas 4 apple hain,

To main inko 5 bachchon mein kaise baantun..?

Sardar ka beta = Madam, ek bachche ko goli maar do…..

Shoot

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Teacher = Ek din aisa aaega jab dharti par paani nahin rahega,

Jeev-jantu nast ho jaaenge or dharti tabaah ho jaaegi…

Sardar = Madam, to kya us din school aana hoga..?

Scare

Gogi in School – Hind comic – 5