Tag Archives: Train

Sardar Ji Jokes

Sardar apni girlfriend se bola = Main tumhare saath shaadi nahin kar sakta,

mere gharwale nahin maanenge.

Girlfriend = Kon kon hai tumhare ghar mein..?

Sardar = Ek patni or teen bachche…..

Music

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Santa dukaandaar se = Murga kaise diya hai?

Dukaandaar = 80 rupay, 50 rupay or 10 rupay..

Santa = 10 rupay ka..! itna sastaa..?

Dukaandaar = Saahab ise aids hai..

Santa = De do khana hi to hai, shaadi thodi na karni hai..

Chicken

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Sardar saw a very high Airtel tower & red light glowing on the top. 

Seeing this he said "India is developing fast,

See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air"

Aeroplane

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Ek sardar jalebi bech raha tha,

Magar keh raha tha “Aaloo Le Lo Aaloo..!

Ek aadmi aaya or bola = Par ye to jalebi hai..

Sardar = Chup Ho Ja..! Warna makkhiyan aa jaayegi.

Fly

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Ek baar ek chor ek sardar ka mobile chhin kar bhaag gaya.

Saradr kuch dur uske piche bhaga phir ruk kar chilla kar bola,

"Le jaa kutte, charger to mere paas hi hai"…

Running

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Ek mandir ban raha tha ki achanak ek majdoor kaafi unchhayi se gir gaya. 

Uski jaan to bach gayi lekin chotein bahut aayi..

Ek pandit ne use girte hue dekha to bhaag kar uske paas gaya

or usey jinda dekhkar kaha, bhagwan tere saath the beta…

Majdoor dard se kraahte hue bola = Haan koi na koi to jaroor mere paas tha,

Warna mujhe dhakka koun deta……

Player

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2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile…..

First Sardar = Chal police ko de kar aate hain. 

Second Sardar = Agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to? 

First Sardar = Jhoot bol denge ki ek hi mila tha….

Bomb

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Train chali, sardar Ji bhaagte hue ek Dibbe me chad gaye.

TT bola = Kyun paaji..? Dikta nahi, ladies ka dibba hai?

Funny Sardar Ji = Sorry Ji Sorry ! Mere ko laga aap Mard ho…

Running

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Police = Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaansi di jayegi. 

Sardar = Ha Ha Ha Ha! 

Police = Kyon hasn rahe ho? 

Sardar = Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Running

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Maalik to Sardar = Tu to kehta tha ke tu thakta nahi hai. Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.

Funny Sardar = Mere naa thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.

Sleeping

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Man = Sardar ji aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho? 

Sardar = AC k paas ja kar baith jata hun 

Man = Agar phir bhi garmi lage to? 

Sardar = To A/C on kar leta hun..

Rest

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Ek baar sardar ko uske dost ne ghar par bulaya. Sardar jab dost ke ghar 

pohoncha to darwaaja band tha or board par likha tha, "kaisa ullu banaya"..

Sardar ne jawaab mein likha, "Main to tere ghar aaya hi nahin"….

Mouse

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Sardar = Yaar mujhe ek hathora or keel chahiye computer ke liye. 

Sales man = Magar computer me inka kya kaam? 

Sardar = Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

Repair

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First Sardar = Oye yaar main badi mushkil me hun,

Meri biwi mujh se ek pappi ka ek rupya leti hai.

Second Sardar = Yaar tu to lucky hai, Auron se to wo 5 rupay leti hai.. ;-)

Kiss

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First Sardar = oye agar neend na aaye to kya kiya jaaye..? 

Second Sardar = Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaaye..

Waiting

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Ek sardar rail ki patri per so gaya . 

Ek aadmi ne kaha = Kya kar rahe ho..? Train aayegi to mar jaoge! 

Sardar = Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Railway track

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Train me ek funny desi sardar ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne wali jagah par rakh diya.

Neeche ek gujraati aadmi baitha tha.

Gujarati aadmi = Sardarji, apna samaan kahi aur rakho, mere seer pe gir jaayega.

Desi Sardar = Koi baat nahin dost, iss me tutne wali koi cheez nahin hai.

Luggage

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Sardar to Bania = Sethji, hum ek anath ashram bana rahe hain.

Bania = Very good !

Sardar = Aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Kanjoos Bania = Main anaath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

Playing

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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone,

And he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".

Dancing

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Sardar ka bachcha school gaya..

Teacher = Mere paas 4 apple hain,

To main inko 5 bachchon mein kaise baantun..?

Sardar ka beta = Madam, ek bachche ko goli maar do…..

Shoot

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Teacher = Ek din aisa aaega jab dharti par paani nahin rahega,

Jeev-jantu nast ho jaaenge or dharti tabaah ho jaaegi…

Sardar = Madam, to kya us din school aana hoga..?

Scare

Sms Jokes

Grahambel found telephone,

Edison found elctric bulb,

Marconi found radio,

Columbus found America,

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Tu bas mobile nu angutha maare ja nalayak..!

Mobile

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Police Inspector = Have you caught the thief..?

Hawaldar = No, but I found some trace of him.

Police Inspector = What?

Hawaldar = Finger prints.

Police Inspector = Where?

Hawaldar = On my cheeks.

Slap

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Beta = Maa kya tum pehle circus mein kaam karti thi?

Maa  = Nahin to, Kyun..?

Beta = To phir sabhi log aisa kyun kehte hain ki tum papa ko ungliyon pe nachati ho..?

Circus

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Champak = Socha call kar lun, tum miss kar rahi hogi..

Ladki ka baap = 15 min pehle hi ladhaayi hui thi, wo kya tha..?

Champak = Oh teri..! phir ghar ka number lag gaya….

Shout

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Maalkin = Tu 3 din se kaam par kyun nahin aayi.

Kaamwali = Maine to facebook par update kiya tha ki main gaon ja rahi hun,

Or aapke pati ne comment bhi likhi thi, "Miss U".

Walk

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Munna = Jo log chori karte hain wo baad mein pachhtaate hain..

Munni = Bade aaye lecture dene wale….

Shaadi se pehle tum bhi to chori se meri kiss kiya karte the..

Munna = Tabhi to aaj bhi pachhta raha hun….

Theft

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Ek doctor bachche ke pair ka taanka katne aaya…..

Doctor = Beta wo dekho upar.. sone ki chidiya..

Bachcha = Niche dekh, kahin pair na kat jaaye, badaa aaya chidiya ka mama..

Bird

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Teen kaidi jail mein baithkar apne apne anubhav bata rahe the..

Pehla = Main pichle chunaav mein ek raastriya dal ke ummidwaar sukhraam 

ka jordaar samarthan karne ke jurm mein yahan hun..

Dusra = Or main usi sukhraam ka virodh karne ke kaaran jail ki hawaa 

kha raha hun.

Teesra = Bohot khub, or wo sukhraam main khud hun….

Jail

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Garmi ke din the or mehmaan ki bheed..

Khana khaate samay maa boli: -Khane se pehle bhagwaan ki pooja ki jaati hai..

Bachcha bola = Kon si….?

Maa = Wahi, jo main aksar kehti hun..

Bachche ne aankhein band ki, haath jode or bola = Hey bhagwan,

itni garmi mein ye log kahan se aa gaye..?

Prayer

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Ek aadmi ne chhotey jootey pehen rakhe the.. 

Golu ne dekha or kaha = uncle ye jootey aapne kahan se liye..?

Aadmi gusse mein bola = Ped se tode hain..

Golu = Agar do chaar mahine baad todte to aapke pair ke kaabil ho jaate..

jara jaldi ki aapne…….

Walk

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Film Director to actor = The funniest thing is that,

You have to jump in the swimming pool from a height of 100 feet.

Actor = But i don't know how to swim…..

Film Director = Don't worry, there is no water in the pool…..

Swimming

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Ek aadmi cycle par ja raha the, or cycle ke piche uska bachcha jor jor se ro raha tha.. 

Bachche ko rote dekh raah chalte ek aadmi ne kaha = Bhaisahab,

Aapka bachcha ro raha hai, kya baat hai..?

Cycle par sawaar aadmi ne kaha = Wo to ise rulaya hai,

Kyun ki cycle mein bell nahin hai na isliye….

Driving

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Girlfriend to Boyfriend = My sweet baby, my chicky chicky, my gulgula. 

Would you marry me ?

Funniest Boyfriend = Are you proposing me or adopting me….?

Propose

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Kid (on mobile phone) = My son will not come to school today…..

Madam = Who is speaking ?

Funny Kid = My father speaking….

School

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Funny Santa sends hindi sms to Banta = Sender is great, reader is fool.

Banta angrily replies the sms = Sender is fool, reader is great.

Chat

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Brain tumor ke patient sonu ko bataya gaya ki,

Usey tatkaal brain transfer karaane ki jarurat hai….

Surgeon ne kaha = Tumhe 10 graam bhartiya dimaag 10 hazaar mein,

Japani 20 hazaar mein, amrikan 30 hazaar mein milega….

Itna hi chinese dimaag 50 hazaar rupay mein milega…

Sonu = Chinese dimaag itna mehenga kyun hai..?

Kya wo log bohot buddhimaan hote hain..?

Surgeon = Nahin, unke paas dimaag kam hota hai, humein dher saare 

chinese logon ko laana padega, tab jaakar 10 graam dimaag niklega…

Patient

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Har aadmi ka sapna,

Saat ankon mein salary,

Chhey ankon mein bachat,

Paanch bedroom wala ghar,

Chaar pahiyon ki gaadi,

Teen hafton ki chhuttiyan,

Do pyaare bachche or,

Ek gungi biwi…

Money

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Ek train bahut der baad chali..

Muslim = Ya ali balaa tali..

Hindu = Jai Bajrang Bali..

Sardar = Arey Ali or Bali, train apni nahin saath wali chali….

Train

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A Hindi man goes to the ashram of Desi Baba Ji and says: -

I can't concentrate on pooja (prayer)…. Tell me some way.

Baba Ji = Send that girl Pooja to me, I will try to concentrate on her.

Play

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Ek paagal american se = Tum japani ho..?

American = Nahin main american hun..

Paagal = Nahin tum japani ho..

American = Nahin bhai main american hun..

Paagal = Japani ho..

American = Nahin bhai nahin, american hun..

Paagal = Tum japani hi ho…

American = Haan haan thik hai, main japani hi hun.. khush..?

Paagal = Lekin tum lagte to american ho..?

Laugh

Apni Rail – Kids Poem

हिंदी में : -

            अपनी रेल 

आओ भाई खेलें खेल,
चलती है अब अपनी रेल,
हम इंजन हैं भक भक करते,
हम डब्बे हैं छुक छुक करते..

सीटी देती चलती रेल,
कैसा बढ़िया है ये खेल,
दिल्ली जाने वाले आये,
तनिक देर में हम पहुंचाए…

टिकट विकट का काम नहीं है,
लगता कुछ भी दाम नहीं है,
स्टेशन आया रुक गयी रेल,
हुआ ख़तम ये अपना खेल….

Train

In English : -

           Apni Rail

Aao Bhai Khelein Khel,
Chalti Hai Ab Apni Rail,
Hum Injan Hain Bhak Bhak Karte,
Hum Dabbey Hain Chuk Chuk Karte..

Seeti Deti Chalti Rail,
Kaisa Badhiya Hai Ye Khel,
Dilli Jaane Wale Aaye,
Tanik Der Mein Hum Pahunchaye…

Tikat Wikat Ka Kaam Nahin Hai,
Lagta Kuch Bhi Daam Nahin Hai,
Station Aaya Ruk Gayi Rail,
Hua Khatam Ye Apna Khel….

Rail – Kids Rhymes

हिंदी में : -

             रेल 

सीटी बोले चलती रेल,
छुक छुक करके चलती रेल,
सफ़र आसान बनाती रेल,
सभी जगह पहुंचाती रेल….|

Train

In English : -

            Rail

Seeti Bole Chalti Rail,
Chhuk Chhuk Karke Chalti Rail,
Safar Aasaan Banaati Rail,
Sabhi Jagah Pahunchaati Rail…