How can a foreigner tell his indian servant 2 open the door, who doesnt know english.

Think….

Say this fast in American accent…

"There was a cold day"…!

Donkey

*********************************************************************************************

Teacher = 'A' for?

Student = Apple..!

Teacher = Jor se bolo

Student = JAI MATA DI….

Reading

*********************************************************************************************

Teacher to Pathan = Tumne home work kyun nahin kiya? 

Pathan = Sir main hostel mein rehta hun.

Dog

**********************************************************************************************

Ek kaali african ladki ko God(bhagwan) ne pankh de diye to wo kushi se boli: –

Wow! God kya aab main pari ban gayi hun..?

God = Nahin re pagali..! Tum ab Chamgaadar ban gayi ho… :)

Bat

***********************************************************************************************

Welcome to "Sach Ka Saamna"

.

.

Jawaab sirf haan ya na me dena hai..

Toh lo aapke liye pehla sawal..

Kya aapne mandir se chappal churana chhor diya hai…

Slipper

*********************************************************************************************

Teacher = Kal kare so aaj kar aaj kare so ab.

.

.

.

Papu ne pucha = Ab mujhe koi ye bataye kal karnewale sandaas ko aaj kaise kare?

Funny

**********************************************************************************************

A rich man needed blood for his heart surgery.

He got it from a Poor Bania.

The rich man gave him 5 million dollars. Once again the rich man needed blood for surgery.

Bania was more than happy to donated blood again.

This time, the rich just gave him a Cadbury's Chocolate. 

Bania asked the reason… 

The rich man replied = “Now I also have Bania’s blood in my body.”

Sweets

*********************************************************************************************

Ek chhote bachche ne apani pregnant mummy se uska pet dekhkar pucha = 

Is mein kya hai?

Mummy = Is mein pyara sa Baby hai..

Bachcha = Itana pyara tha to khaya kyun usko….?

Pregnant

********************************************************************************************

Pandit = Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiyan aayengi.

Santa = Wow, kya baat hai.

Pandit = Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai.

Family

**********************************************************************************************

Teacher = Zameen par rehne wale jaanwar bachche dete hain,

Hawa mein udne wale andey dete hain..!

Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mein bhi udti hai or bachche bhi deti hai??

Student = “Air Hostess!”

Egg

**********************************************************************************************

Teacher = Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab 

se woh 1 saal baad loan waapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise waapis karenge?

Bania’s son = Kuch bhi nahi.

Teacher = Tum maths nahi jante.

Banis’s son = Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jaante….

Money

***********************************************************************************************

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania = Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper = Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania = Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

Clothes

*************************************************************************************************

Pathan Blood Ke bare mein book parh raha tha.

Wife = Aaj ye book kyun parh rahe ho ji..?

Pathan = Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera Blood test hai iss liye 

test ki taiiyari kar raha hoon….

Blood

**************************************************************************************************

Chhote = Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

Bade = Mujhe uska naam pata hai.

Chhote = Kya naam hai uska?

Bade = Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam 

likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”…..

Play
***************************************************************************************************
 
Customer = Ek kilo gaaye (cow) ka doodh dena.
 
Shopkeeper = Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
 
Customer = Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de…….
 
Cow
 
****************************************************************************************************
 
Pathan "Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein": –
 
Q = What is you father name?
 
Pathan = Plz Options?
 
A. Dilawar
B. Changez
C. Feroz
D. Sultan
 
Pathan = Life line 50/50
 
A. Dilawar
C. Feroze
 
Pathan = Audience Vote.
 
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
 
Pathan = I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
 
Q = Kisko call karengy…?
 
Pathan = Apne baap dilawar ko….!
 
Play
 
****************************************************************************************************
 
Man = Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho? 
 
Sardar = AC k paas ja k baith jata hun 
 
Man = Agar phir bhi garmi lage to? 
 
Sardar = To AC on kar leta hun..
 
Fan
 
*****************************************************************************************************
 
Ek budha aadmi doctor ke paas gayaa or bola = Mere paas paise nahin hai,
 
Mera ilaaj kar dijiye. Aapki jaroorat padne par main aapka kaam free mein kar dunga..
 
Doctor ne elaaj karke pucha = Baba, aap kaam kya karte hain..?
 
Baba = Beta main kabra khodta hun…
 
Pit
 
******************************************************************************************************
 
Ek machchhar toofan mein phans gaya. Raaste mein ek badaa ped mila,
 
to wo ussey lipat gaya. Jab toofan gaya to machchhar pasina pochhte hue bola,
 
"Agar aaj main na hota to ye ped aaj gir hi jata"…….
 
Tree
 
*******************************************************************************************************
 
Chhoti bachchi dukaandaar se = Jab main badi ho jaaun to
 
mujhse shaadi karoge….?
 
Dukaandaar hanste hue = Haan karunga..
 
Bachchi = To apni hone wali biwi ko ek choclate nahin khilaoge..?
 
Sweets